If you're contemplating suicide, put a pin in it. You can always change your mind about killing yourself on this side of death, but not on the other. Put such thoughts aside just for now. Commit to just getting some sleep tonight, waking up tomorrow, getting cleaned up, and going into the world to search for something beautiful. When you find it, contemplate it and keep it in your heart and for the rest of the day. When the next day hits, repeat. This is life, and life will get better.
I've spent most of my life depressed and contemplated suicide many more times than I can count. This is advice that comes from hard, hard experience. There is beauty in this world waiting for you to discover it.